


If You Find Yourself Caught In Love (Thomas w/James)

by gloriousdae



Series: If You Find Yourself Caught In Love [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: But he won't admit it, M/M, Thomas is gay, exce for to his his daughter, thomas doesn't even want to feeling, thomas doesn't know how to feeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 05:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10404507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloriousdae/pseuds/gloriousdae
Summary: Thomas is slowly realizing he's in love with his best friend. Doesn't mean he's gonna acknowledge it though.





	

_James would argue that Thomas fell in love with him when they were twenty, and Thomas left school to go be with him. James would also argue that Thomas didn't even realize he was in love until they kissed almost seventeen years later. Well, maybe the first one was right, but the second one was far from it._

"Thomas, you're married now, you don't think it's the slightest bit inappropriate to continue to go around holding my hand?" James asks, a teasing tone to his voice, the two were sitting at a table in a restaurant, waiting for Martha to come back from the restroom. James had actually been the one to take Thomas' hand from under the table, Thomas was just the one to bring there hands to rest on the table.  
"I've been married for three weeks, I've been friends with you for what feels like three lifetimes, I think it's allowed." Thomas says with a smirk, shaking his head slightly,  
"Twelve years, Thomas, we've been friends for twelve years." James corrects, his thumb gently grazing over Thomas' wedding ring, "I'm amazed you haven't lost this yet."  
"So am I. I've actually got bets going with a few of my friends to see when he does lose it, would you like to join?" Martha asks, taking her seat beside Thomas again,  
"Considering I didn't think he'd make it to the end of the wedding with it, I'll pass." James says, taking his hand away from Thomas' now. Usually Thomas was unfazed by this, it'd been years since Thomas actually had the urge to grab James' hand back, which of course he didn't, instead he took the gesture as James had meant it, and moved his other hand to hold his wife's.  
"I am so glad you two have so much confidence in me." Thomas says rolling his eyes, although without James holding his left hand, he began to move his ring slightly with his thumb.

Thomas sighed and shook his head to himself as he picked up his daughter from her crib, she was still asleep, there was no reason for him coming in and disturbing her. Well, Thomas had his reasons, but there was no actual reason, no explanation if Martha woke up and came into the room seeing Thomas sitting on the floor with their five month old daughter, Patsy, in his arms fast asleep.  
His reasons were that he couldn't talk to Martha about what was on his mind, or to James, but he could talk to his daughter, she couldn't understand him of course, but it was good for her to hear people talk anyway, it'd help her learn to speak quicker, even if she was asleep.  
"What am I going to do, girly? You know your uncle Jimmy, right?" He asks quietly, then he took a deep breath, thinking, trying to figure out what he wanted to say, and once it was said, it'd be so much more real, it would be real. "Your mom wouldn't actually care too much, I don't think she would. I love her a lot, more than I could ever put words to, but I also think I love your uncle Jimmy just as much. I don't know what he'd do if I told him, and I'm not going to, you're the only one I'm going to tell." He says, and then he fell silent, letting the words settle.  
About five minutes later he heard footsteps in the hall, "Tommy, are you with Patsy?" He heard Martha's voice call softly,  
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep." Thomas says simply, smiling when he saw his wife in the doorway, she went over and sat beside him, shaking her head gently.  
"How many nights has it been since you could sleep?" Martha asks with a yawn,  
"Maybe four? I have slept, I just haven't got much sleep." Thomas says with a shrug,  
"So you've spent a majority of the last four nights in here holding Patsy." Martha says to clarify,  
"That's correct." Thomas says with a nod,  
"Put the girl back in her bed, and you're coming to our bed with me and going to sleep." Martha says, her voice soft but yet firm,  
Thomas nods, standing up and setting Patsy in her bed gently, then held his hand out to Martha, helping her up.

Thomas never avoided James. Except for now, Thomas wasn't replying to emails, texts, or phone calls.  
He was scared. That's why he wasn't responding. If he responded he'd have to talk to James, and despise how much he loved that, he couldn't bring himself to. He was scared James would be mad at him for not responding in the first place. He was scared that James would be mad at him for his leg, he'd broke his leg but he didn't remember doing it, that's how drunk he was when it happened. And he was scared most of all because talking to James might mean coming to terms with his feelings. Feelings he had chosen to ignore since he had his Patsy. He knew full well he loved James, and he felt like he had to tell him next time they spoke, so Thomas wouldn't speak to James, and his problem would be solved.  
Except for it wasn't. Paris, although beautiful and amazing, grew annoying and lonely without James' company. He had his friend, the Marquis de Lafayette, but Gilbert was nothing like James.  
Gilbert was actually the one who got Thomas to call James finally.  
And nothing happened when he called James.  
He didn't have to tell James anything. And he even had planned what he'd say, had talked to Gilbert about it.  
But instead he spent five hours on the phone just talking to James, the thought of admiring any feelings gone, he was just happy to be talking to James again.  
They ended the phone call like they ended any phone call, a quick bye, talk to you later, and I love you.  
And other than the farewell, Thomas didn't mention any feelings for James.  
And it was fine. It was great, actually.  
Now, when Thomas got back home, things between him and James were definitely different, but not as different as they could be.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my Instagram if you want, it's the same user as in here @tb_is_writing_trash and feel free to DM me or comment that you found my user from AO3.


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